Friday, August 14, 2015


I haven't updated because I've done so terrible diet wise.  It's really frustrating.  I will get back on track and start updating.

Friday, July 17, 2015

Month 2

I am still really struggling with depression.  It makes everything so difficult.  I haven't worked out in 3 days, I'm hoping to run to ight.   Yesterday I ate terrible all day.  Today I want to get back on track.  I want to spend the next 4 weeks doing weight watchers to the letter and then I may start a doctor approved strict diet regiment.    It's a 20 week program where I would hope to lose 40 lbs.  We shall see.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Day 25

I'm struggling with depression and the past 2 days have been bad.  For 3 weeks I could barely eat 800 calories because I'm not hungry.  I've been having a little bit of sugar and now I'm so hungry all the time.  I ate like half a bag of trail mix today, like 4 pieces of sugar free chocolate, rice, a bagel, and hiked for only an hour.

I'm so frustrated.  All I want to do is lose this weight.  It's a constant struggle of depression and mood swings.  I wish it was the depression where I don't eat for days on end but nope.  It's the "all I want to do is eat everything"depression.

I'm ranting I know, I'm just so frustrated.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Day 24

I'm struggling with a lot of depression.  I ate a bunch of cool whip.  I couldn't eat for like 3 weeks and now all I want to do is eat.   It's so frustrating.  I did some wiifit and gardening. I'm sick of not losing weight and feeling like this.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Day 23

I had a meltdown on Tuesday.  My tooth pain has just been so unbareable that I ate half a gallon of ice cream and 3 pieces of pizza.  Wednesday I bounced back and have been eating appropriately since but I haven't been working out.  It's just too painful.  My tooth is finally starting to hurt less so hopefully over the weekend I'll workout some and next week get back to 6 days a week.

I bought a size 31 pants and 30 shorts.  I have a 32 waist so these were for goal pants (easier to notice weight loss) well, the 30s fit.  Very tight but fit. So now goal is to make them loose.  My weight loss is at a crawl now , I assume because of my tooth, so once I'm back on track I will hopefully fit into most of my clothes when I move in September.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Day 18

I'm still having a ton of mouth pain so I've been lacking in posts.  I haven't been working out and my diet has slipped a little.  I had some bbq chicken and it made me sick to my stomach.  That'll teach me.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Day 14

Ok. I've really sucked at this.  I've been having so much horrible mouth lain that I'm not keeping up with much.

Last night I ended up in the er because the pain was so bad.  They did a dental block and gave me.vicodin to take home and another antibiotic.  This morning I went to the dental clinic to make an appt and they pulled me in immediately.  They ran some tests and realized my mouth hurt too much for an infection.  They ran more tests than removed the filling from my tooth and found that it was split in half.  In the split, the tooth was dying.  It had taken them 5 hit's of lidocaine to get my mouth fully numb.  They pulled the tooth, which was a painful process.  Now, my jaw is killing me from the process.  I took vicodin which I don't like.  It didn't help the pain and made me throw up.

Earlier today, because I could only eat soft food, I had jess bring me sf jello and cool whip.  It was amazing.  I had 3 tubs of it and half the cool whip :/ most food I've eaten in weeks at one sitting but about 300 calories and most of what I threw up shortly after.

Hopefully I wake up tmmr feeling a lot better and I can put this behind me and focus on getting healthy.